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Encountering Life's Issues - Is there a God? Is God real?
OpenHeaven.com Forum : Encountering Life's Issues - Is there a God? Is God real?
Subject Topic: Sex outside of marriage! - Sex before marriage! - Patrick Conaty Post Reply Post New Topic
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Posted: 04/29/2005 at 8:57am | IP Logged Quote Moderator

Sex outside of marriage!

Sex before marriage!

A pre-marital experience, assuming one is talking of sexual intercourse or perversion of the same, the word of God implies it all by calling it FORNICATION!

It knows no exception. It allows none. Renaming fornication does not change the act or remove the consequence. Those who commit fornication, DO sin.

This message, like all other true Bible messages, is designed both for believers and disbelievers. "Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God" Romans 10:17, so the purpose of the Bible revelation is to create believers of those who would learn.

The fact that premarital sex, fornication, homosexuality, are laughed at by the world should be of little consequence to one who seeks for truth, or to one who believes the truth.

It is the truth that shall make you free (John 8:32).

Now let's consider briefly the question of fornication, or pre-marital sex. Fornication is a sin against God. Sin is transgression of the law of God (I John 3:4). It is to go against, or across, what God has revealed. So if one believes God and would follow His word, he must stand on the simple conviction that fornication is wrong. Consider what the word says.

"Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled, but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" Hebrews 13:4.

In the Bible, a prostitute, a harlot, a whore, were all guilty of the same thing- fornication. One may prostitute himself for any kind of gain, not just money. It may be the pride of continued association, or perhaps a weekend all-expense trip paid to a neighboring city.

Prostitutes, street walkers, call girls, those who dwell in plush penthouses, all have one thing in common: they commit fornication. It is a sin against God, against His will, His word and His way. Judgement will fall on those who are guilty of fornication and who fail to turn in repentance.

Paul writes in I Corinthians 6:9-11, "Know you not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the Kingdom of God? Be not deceived, neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners shall inherit the Kingdom of God".

You say, "What am I to do then? For I am guilty." Read the next verse, "But such were some of you". According to Acts 18:8, "And many of the Corinthians, hearing, believed and were baptized". The guilty Corinthians were forgiven, redeemded.

Fornication is a sin against the other person involved. It is always a mutual sin engaged in by two or more. Involving others in your own sin, You sin against them. If your convictions had been strong perhaps they would have been encouraged to do right. The sin, the shame, the wrong is shared by both. For this reason Paul writes in I Corinthians 7:2, "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and every woman have her own husband".

Temptation is not a sin fornication is.

Fornication is a sin against oneself. Paul said, "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body, but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body" I Corinthians 6:18. The body of the believer belongs to God. He has been bought with a price and is to glorify God while in the flesh. All of this is clearly taught in this chapter. Fornication is generally committed in private. This leads one to believe that, since no one knows, or since the act was committed with a prostitute, that the sin goes unnoticed and the consequences are allayed. This is just not so.

Pre-marital sex? An effort to reach compatibility? An innocent game to play? Not according to the word. God says it is fornication, sin, and those who commit such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. It is not sex which God condemns, but it's misuse outside the marriage bond.

If you find yourself in a yes or not situation when it comes to sex outside of marriage or before marriage, just say NO!!!

In the mean time Be Radical for God!!
 
Patrick Conaty
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Posted: 04/04/2006 at 7:28am | IP Logged Quote Moderator

For more information about sex: Click Here

Do you have questions or needs or would you like to share what God is doing in your life?

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Posted: 06/27/2006 at 3:42pm | IP Logged Quote Scott Miller

     I know that you have probably received other testimonies from people on the topicof premarital sex and its dangerous emotional consequences, but I thought I might want to share my story and hopefully encourage other Christian singles around the world not to make the same painful mistake that I have made.

     First of all, I am a thirty year old male teacher in TX and accepted Christ as my personal Lord and Savior at age six.  At age twenty-one, I rededicated my life to Christ and was baptized.  Although life has certainly had its ups and downs, I have been actively involved with serving God through attending church, being involved in Bible studies, mission trips, and Christian fellowship for nine years. 

      I have always longed for a Christian woman from God and always been faitfully waiting for the right one to come along.  Yes, I have dated and the longest relationship I have ever had is four months.  I have moved around quite a bit throughout my life and establishing a long lasting intimate Christian relationship with a woman has always been a challenge.  I have three or four girlfriends throughout the years, but nothing would compare to my experience that occurred about five months ago.  Needless to say, my last dating experience has been a leraning experience that has taught me perhaps one of the most emotionally painful lesson in life.  I would like to share this story to help Christian singles of all ages avoid the mistake I have made.

     I am a thirty year old high school teacher in TX who met a new first year teacher in the hall in October 2005.  I was immediately attracted to "Jane" and other than her physical appearance, I was immediately attracted to the fact that she wore a cross around her neck.  The cross had sparked conversation and from there I began to talk to Jane more and more before actually e-mailing her at work.  Before I knew, I actually asked "Jane" out to "meet some friends" on a Saturday night.  We immediately began seeing each other as friends going to dinner together and going out to the movies.  After seeing each other as "friends" for about a month, I shared with "Jane" a few days after Christmas that I had feelings for her and that I wished her to be my girlfriend.  She immediatlely responded of course thinking that I would never ask her. 

     Initially, things in the relationship went very well.  Our conversations were always full of life and despite the fact that our histories as believers were quite different, our relationship remained very strong.  In fact, about a month into the relationship, "Jane" admitted that she could see herself as my wife and we even began to talk what life could be like as a married couple. 

     I must admit that the problems of our relationship began when our relationship moved into a physical direction.  Kisses turned to make out sessions,      Our relationship began to take other turns as "Jane" became controlling getting mad at me for not "spending enough time with her."  I can still vividly remember one Friday night after work, going to the gym to work out and receiving a call that I had ignored her and failed to spend Friday night with her.  I raced home out of fear to find an angry girlfriend.  This incident was but one of many to follow where I began to feel that everything I did just wasn't good enough anymore.  Eating out every night became expensive and the time I spend with her claimed to be out of necessity rather than love.  I was flabbergasted and didn't know what to do at this point. 

     One Sunday afternoon after church, I received a call from "Jane."  She called me over to her apartment where she explained that she could no longer deal with me as I had "fallen out of love" with her.  I was shocked that she had broken up with me, but really wasn't heart broken as I felt relieved that I might get to spend some actual time by myself for a change.  A week later, I received a text message from her claiming she had "missed her best friend." I immediately called her and she came over.  Looking back now, I realize she probably did just want to be "friends" at that point, but I mistook the incident as wanting to get back with me again.  Our relationship back together again was very different now, as she claimed she no longer felt the desire to be married.  She began to say that marriage may not even before he.  I didn't know what to say, but I patiently listened to her as the physical part of the relationship resumed where it had left off.

           During the month of May, our problems in the relationship began to escalate.  It seemed as if "Jane" didn't feel as attracted to me anymore, and furthermore she even told me rudely at one point that the relationship just seeemed "stagnant."  I didn't know what to do but simply keep on dating and praying that God would heal the relationship.  My own convictions about the first experience and the fear of her getting pregnant convinced me to stop before having sex become commonplace in the relationship. 

     One night "Jane" had told me to go out with some friends on a Saturday night as she said that I needed some time with friends.  She said her church was having a party and I probably would not want to go there.  I tried to convince I would gladly take her to which she responded negatively that I should do what I want to do.  I finally agreed and went out with a few guy friends to Starbuck's for a drink of coffee.  Later that night I called her to check up on her and she mentioned that she had indeed attended her church party with a guy named "Bob." "Bob" had taken her to the party and now they were both at her apartment as "friends" watching a movie.  I was shocked and told her I couldn't believe she could do that without having previously notified me.  She claimed that it was not big deal and that it was just a night as "friends."

     OK, reader here is  the moral of the story as I have probably written too much the way it is.  I foolishly rushed over to "Jane's" apartment that night and broke up with her out of anger.  A week later she started "Bob," a guy that I had met on one occasion before as a family friend.  "Jane" had told that "Bob" was not a Christian and that she would never date him.  Well, needless to say, "Jane" and "Bob" are now an item now and my own jealously has certainly not helped the situation.  Despite me begging and praying with "Jane" to come back with me, she has refused and had admitted that "Bob" and her are sleeping together.  My own warnings against fornication have made me a hypocrite and put me through a deep depression and spiritual guilt that I would not wish on my own worst enemy.  "Jane" has claimed that "Bob" may come to Christ some day, and my own refusal to love her as he has love her has hurt me more deeply than I could ever have imagined.  The credit bill of sexual sin has certainly arrived in my mailbox and the worst depression and spiritual guilt of my life has now come upon me.  I feel as I have not only let God down but I have been no different that any other non Christian boyfriend "Jane" has ever dated.  Furthermore, since I have seen her since "Bob" and her are an item, her personality has completely changed.  She already has a promise (engagement?) ring on her wedding finger and completely shut me down each time I have brought up the subject of prayer. 

     Reader, I know this story may sound cliché, but let me warn you. The fact that I had saved myself so long (thirty years) for the "one" and now lost it all to someone who shamelessly gives it away to another guy now has left me as empty as can be.  Satan has put ideas lies into my mind wounding me beyond repair, "If you would have slept in the same bed as her, she would not have had to look else where for emotional/sexual intimacy."  "If you would have continued to meet her sexual needs, you might still be with her today."  These and other lies have been dealt with by repentance and a new fellowship with the Lord, but my own self esteem and spiritual witness have been cut down to a thread.  Reader, be aware!  There are spiritual consequences of fornication and the emotional pain although getting better still goes through my head constantly on a daily basis.  I know that God has forgiven me of my sin, but it hurts me so much that I know that "Jane" is in spiritual rebellion at the moment and that my words will just drive her further away from me.  She's right when she stated in anger, "Who are you to judge?"  Prayer is powerful in this situation, but the constant thought of my own shortcomings have left me feeling like a man watching someone drowning with no life preserver to throw out. 

     Feel free to share this story with anyone who may be interested.  Would someone please respond to me to let me know this went through?  More imporantly, please pray for me as I struggle to get past this deep, dark chapter of my life.  I know that God is there for me and I continually pray that I let go of my own guilt and sorrow and believe in my heart that Christ's blood paid for it all.  Yes, I realize this intellectually, but I just wish my heart would accept this reality as well.  

  God bless!  Scott  

    



Edited by Moderator on 06/27/2006 at 7:36pm
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Posted: 06/27/2006 at 9:11pm | IP Logged Quote Larry Silverman

Hi Scott,

Thank you for sharing this testimony.  I am sure you experienced some pain as you wrote it, but in your sharing it with others to bring help and comfort to them, I am certain that the Lord will ease your pain as well.

Blessings,

Larry



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Posted: 08/01/2006 at 12:27pm | IP Logged Quote Moderator

Bad Alliances
by Os Hillman

"Woe to the obstinate children," declares the Lord, "to those who carry out plans that are not Mine, forming an alliance, but not by My Spirit, heaping sin upon sin; who go down to Egypt without consulting Me; who look for help to Pharaoh's protection, to Egypt's shade for refuge." - Isaiah 30:1-2

Have you ever entered a relationship with someone you knew you were not supposed to? Throughout the history of Israel, the people were called to come out of an old way of life. Egypt represented that old way; when things got tough, the Israelites reverted to what was comfortable. They always knew they could take a trip to Egypt and find what they lacked. Perhaps this was their reasoning: "If we can't get it accomplished under the new way, why not go back to the way we used to do it? At least we know we can get it there."

When God calls us into a walk of faith, we can expect to be tested in this walk. If we enter into alliances that God has not ordained, it will only bring heartache. Such was the case for Israel. "But Pharaoh's protection will be to your shame, Egypt's shade will bring you disgrace" (Is. 30:3).

Beware what you perceive as an alliance that may advance you in some way. It may actually bring you great distress if God has not directed you to align it. Ask yourself what the motive is behind this possible alliance. Make sure that it is not based on a quick fix. Get confirmation that God is leading you to make such an alliance. Then you will not end up in the way of Israel, experiencing shame and disgrace.

Life's Issues prayer counselors  or available send an email to: Larry Silverman nhministry@yahoo.com  or post a reply to this message.

Or if you like you can contact us by email here: http://www.openheaven.com/contact/

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Posted: 08/13/2006 at 9:17pm | IP Logged Quote Pamela Helmick

I have some questions.  How does God define Marraige?  Before their were man made laws how did one get married?  How did the American Indians, and different tribes of the earth became married?  Did they always have a priest to marry them or was it by a promise to God between the two people to be faithful for life with each other?

Does the Bible mention anything about masturbation and if it is a sin?

 



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Posted: 08/14/2006 at 9:04am | IP Logged Quote Larry Silverman

Hi Pamela,

Wow... you sure open a can or two of worms here!  I guess the name of this forum is "Encountering Life's Issues."  You sure hit on a few in your questions.  And... may I say, your questions are excellent!  It's too bad that more is not talked about in the Church about them!

So, here's my attempts at giving you honest answers.

#1.  How does God define marriage?  I knew a pastor who would never marry anyone who was divorced.  He would ask unsaved people..."Have either of you been divorced?"  If either or both would answer yes, he'd refuse to marry them.  I once asked, "What's the sin that sends someone to hell, divorce and remarriage, or rejecting Christ?"  Of course that went over like a screen door in a submarine.  But to me, outside of Christ there is no marriage!  I don't think God looks at marriage from the standpoint of a civil ceremony outside of Christ, His Church.  Matter of fact the word says that we husbands should treat and love our wives as Christ loves the Church.  Does this mean that every Christian should have a large, church wedding?  I'm not too sure about that at all.  But having someone standing up and pronouncing Christ's blessings on a union is tradition, I'm not too sure how totally Scriptural it is.  Actually the New Testament is pretty silent on all of this.  My suggestion is for a couple seek lot's of the Holy Spirit's counsel, and even some pre-marriage counsel.  Then forget all of the expense and "trappings" and have a simple ceremony for family and close friends, and make sure that the Holy Spirit is present.  To be honest, I've done lots of weddings for Christians, it was all pomp and and a show, totally void of the Holy Spirit.  Plus someone spent many thousands of dollars on 45 minutes of fluff! 

Your second question....about masturbation.  Once again, the New Testament is silent on this direct subject.  It does talk about avoiding youthful lusts, etc.  But the act of masturbation, it's not too clear.  Under the Law there were direct prohibitions of a man masturbating, but to my knowledge, nothing said about a woman, but again, the NT is silent on both.  Then questions arise about using porn, etc. in this act, which is another subject.  Then how about this in the marriage bed?  So, in some ways both of your questions raise up other questions.

I hope my humble stab at your questions help some. 

Blessings,

Larry



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Posted: 08/14/2006 at 8:15pm | IP Logged Quote Pamela Helmick

Thanks for answering my questions.  I supose there are some things that only the Holy Spirit can tell us rather it is right or wrong.

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Posted: 08/16/2006 at 8:15pm | IP Logged Quote Kathy Bippus

In answer to the questions,without going indepth, we have to look at the old covenant of law, which ALL men are under until receiving Jesus Christ and His Love shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit..only Love(agape') fulfills all the law. Love(agape') is pure, clean, undefiled, holy.

Roms.3:13` Now we know whatsoever the law says, it says to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and every man guilty before God.' vs. 21 says, `for by the law is the knowledge of sin.'

Every deed, act, word is before God, whether He is acknowledged or not. Therefore every vow made is before Him..saint and sinner alike. He requires every man to pay(make good on,complete,perform) their vows(promise). As He is a God of Promise, God of Covenant. Take a look at the commandments:

1 And God spoke all these words:

 2 "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

 3 "You shall have no other gods before Me.

 4 "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments.

 7 "You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.

 8 "Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. 11 For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

 12 "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

 13 "You shall not murder.

 14 "You shall not commit adultery.

 15 "You shall not steal.

 16 "You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

 17 "You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."

Concerning sexuality: the marriage bed is undefiled. Hebs.13:4` Marriage is honorable(esteemed)and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers (prostituting)and adulterers will God judge.'

Now, we have too look at our thought life, in the marriage bed or outside of the marriage bed. All through 1Cor.7 explains that the husband and wife's whole person, is to be toward one another. Which includes the thought life. As being toward one another as He speaks, it is undefiled, pure. The marriage bed can become defiled when from out of the heart of man, that produces thoughts that is outside of Love. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts..(look up evil in the concordance), murders, adulteries,fornications,thefts, false witness, blasphemies.

So in asking these questions, as it can get very indepth, too much to write out here, you have too look at the heart. What is being produced out of the heart? Are the thoughts pure before Him as He counts purity? If a man or woman is burning with lust..marry. But let there heart and thoughts be toward one another and not another or a similitude, image of another. It's a matter of Who has the Preeminence in our life and therefore from the heart..why we do what we do. Whatsoever we do in our bodies, is it born of Love?  Whether in marriage or single, with bodily desires..He gives grace, enables us to live out(our manner of life) Love.

As I said, there is alot that can be spoken about of these things, but it's all there..written..we just need to dig for Truth. 

 Kathy

 



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Posted: 08/17/2006 at 12:30pm | IP Logged Quote Kathy Bippus

 

His Love is the same for everyone..saint and sinner alike. He Loved us while we were yet in our sin. The whole of the matter is one of relationship. The saint has received His Love and is now in His Love. The sinner has not received His Love and is outside of Love. God is Love. For God so Loved the world that He gave His only Begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. The beginning of receiving His Love, is receiving Jesus Christ. Once receiving Him, we are no longer outside of His Love but in His Love and His Love in us. As again, God is Love and the Love of God has been shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit.

Now begins the communication of our union of relationship, which is to be one of intimacy. Him, First and Foremost above all. Knowing Him, what pleases Him, as He is our hearts desire...passion.

When fornication, masterbation, adultery is being committed, it is an act produced out of the heart and thought life where there is a breakdown, broken or severing of communication of the relationship. In other words, He is not being given First place, His Love is not the motivating force by which we do or speak. There may be wounds, unhealed hurts and pain that is separating us from fully trusting and surrendering of ourselves to obtain that intimacy.

In marriage, our bodies are not our own, but given to one another and to be pleasing to the husband/wife. In the marriage bed, there is too be communication and of mutual submission and respect for one another. A relationship..any relationship..without communication is merely one outwardly, not inwardly, that meaning: intimate.

For instance: Someone is born again but has an addiction too pornography. That addiction is separating them from intimate relationship with Him firstly, and if married, their wife/husband. The Love of God is needed to be demonstrated in Truth and power to set free. The whole of His desire is that the relationship with Him First, be one of intimacy. His Love for us goes into the depths of our very being and heals and makes whole, every area whereby we separate ourselves from Him.

We are no longer our own, we are His. We have been bought with a price and we are to yield our members to Him. Our bodily desires that we have are to be yielded to Him . No desire is to have the Preeminence over Him, Who is Love and is a Jealous God, Who will have no one, or anything above Him. It's truly all about relationship, with Him first and all else flowing out from that, which effects every relationship in this life. We need remember also, whatever we can not do, in full assurance before Him in faith that it is acceptable and pleasing to Him, is sin. Sin destroys and works death in our lives..destroys relationships, brings depression, oppression, sickness, etc. His Love brings Life and that more abundantly. His Love brings righteousness, joy and peace in every area of our life..spirit, soul, bodily, relationally. His Love brings Light, Truth that makes free.

Hope this helps,

Kathy



Edited by Kathy Bippus on 08/21/2006 at 10:38am


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Posted: 08/17/2006 at 1:23pm | IP Logged Quote Larry Silverman

Kathy,

Excellent job! 

And to what you've written, add the ministry of the Holy Spirit, and you've covered all of the bases.  There are so many different levels of participatin in this stuff that could be talked about, that is why I think Paul hit the nail on the head when he said that he "could do all things, but all things are not expedient."

To me, the Lord is showing me how important it is to walk in the Kingdom of God vs living in this fallen world.  When internet porn/spam hits my inbox, i have about 3 seconds of time to decide what I'm going to do with it.  Am I going to stare at the Victoria Secret's commerical run during the football game, or am I going to move quickly and divert my eyes to somethng else?

You know what I love about this is the sense of victory that comes everytime I over come my flesh.  Now I write this as I have just started a campfire, getting ready to grill a nice steak for us on our tripod grill.... grin.. some areas the flesh really dies hard!  But saying that I did my more than a mile power walk this morning... so I'm ganing ground!

Blessings Sister!

Larry

p.s.  Kathy on a personal note, we'll be in Springfield, OH on Sept. 10.  It would be great meeting you!



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Posted: 08/18/2006 at 6:54pm | IP Logged Quote Lyn McSweeney

KISSES ON MY FACE

I feel you gentle arms around me

I feel your warm embrace

I tingle as you touch me

Gentle kisses on my face

You whisper child come close to me

Let me heal your pain

Take my yoke hold on to me

I’ll make you new again

Free from all that things gone by

Free from all the past

Free from all the memories

Child my healing lasts

Only I can give you peace and joy

Come child seek my face

Come child come and sit by me

Let me bathe you with my grace

I feel your gentle arms around me

I feel your warm embrace

I tingle as you touch me

Gentle kisses on my face

I BELIEVE WHEN HE IS FIRST IN OUR LIVES, THE THINGS WE HAVE BEEN DOING THAT WE SHOULD NOT DO, FADE AWAY WITHIN IN THE LOVE AND PASSION FOR HIM BECAUSE WE DO NOT WANT TO DO ANYTHING THAT MAY HURT OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM,HE SHOULD BE OUR EVERYTHING HE SHOULD BE OUR FIRST, WE SHOULD HAVE NO WISH TO SATISIFY OUR OWN NEEDS, WE NEED TO TRUST HIM TO SUPPLY OUR NEEDS ALL OUR NEEDS...EVERYTHING..

He cleanses us as we submit to his Holy Spirit

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted: 08/19/2006 at 6:00am | IP Logged Quote Larry Silverman

Lyn,

I can almost hear some guitar chords played with this!

Larry



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Posted: 08/19/2006 at 6:43am | IP Logged Quote Larry Silverman

Lyn,

Sorry for writing this on the fourm, but I couldn't find your email address. 

Corinne is doing a 3 day conferenc in Ohio next month and wants to know if she can use your poem, "Kisses On My Face" in closing out a segment.  She's ministering on, "I'm God's Favorite Daughter and You Are Too!"

Can you please email me at: nhministry@yahoo.com

Thanks and many blessings,

Larry



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Posted: 11/04/2006 at 7:01am | IP Logged Quote Moderator

 

When The Sex Factor Meets The God Factor

By Brian S. Lewis

There is a certain aspect to the story of the woman at the well (John 4:3-8) that deals with her multiple sex partners. And while having multiple sex partners may have been uncommon in her day, it has become all to common in our society and the church today.


The sex factor consists of both sexual intercourse and all of the sexual activity and behavior that leads to intercourse. That means such things as flirting, sexually charged television and movies, explicit and mood altering music, alcohol, oral sex, pornography and masturbation. Sex is not merely physical. Sex involves a spiritual and physical interchange that results in the joining and the fusion of two souls. Sex is more than just a carnal fleshy pleasure. Sex involves your total being. Sex involves more than just a physical release. Sex involves your soul. Sex involves your mind, your thoughts, your will, your emotions, your senses, and your memories. Sex involves. Sex joins. Sex binds and knits your personality and your life essence to the personality and life essence of another. Or in the case of pornography and masturbation sex binds you to unholy images and thoughts.


Oral sex is still a form of sexual expression that involves a physical and emotional interchange that is reserved for the covenant of marriage. So don’t think you can get away with oral sex outside of the marriage covenant and think you’re still right with God. In God’s eyes you’re a registered sex offender in heaven. God calls you a fornicator and all fornicators will go to hell.


When a man knew a woman in the Bible, they were joined together as one flesh in the sight of God. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” The two souls become one. They were joined or tied together physically and spiritually in the sight of God. You become psychologically linked and bound to whomever you have sex with. Even safe sex can produce a soul tie. A soul tie refers to when your soul (your emotions, your mind, your will, your intellect, your memories, and your personality) becomes entangled with and influenced by the soul of someone else. And when you have sex outside of the marriage covenant, not only do you create a soul tie, but the Bible says that if you are a believer, you are joining Christ to a harlot and recrucifying Him.


Marriage is a contract in the spirit that is consummated and sealed by a physical and soulical exchange. Marriage is biblically defined as a man and a woman entering into legal and spiritual covenant. The Scripture says that a man and his wife, not a man and his girlfriend, not a man and his one night stand, not a man and his husband, not a woman and her wife. God didn’t create Adam and Steve or Amanda and Eve as His model for marriage. God created Adam and Eve as His model for marriage, because the marriage between a man and His wife is the only union that can bring glory to God. Any other union is unholy and unrighteous before the sight of God.


Maybe you were raped or molested and now you think that you’re gay or lesbian. Maybe you had a strong father or no father. Maybe you had a strong mother or no mother. Maybe there is a part of you that is missing and you’re trying to fulfill the void by reaching out to the same sex or multiple sex partners. Why? Because you never really received the love and acceptance you needed to receive. Maybe you’re hurt by divorce or a dysfunctional home and there is a familiarity and a safety in your dysfunction. Jesus is thirsty for relationship and intimacy with you. Jesus bled, died, and rose to set you free from your sexual dysfunction.


And so, as we come to the woman at the well, we find Jesus traveling through Samaria. And His journey through Samaria is more than a geographical consideration. It’s a divine compulsion to set a woman free from The Sex Factor. And this Samaritan woman who is all too familiar with The Sex Factor has now come into contact with the God factor (a God moment). She has had five husbands and the one she’s with ain’t her husband. She’s trapped in a revolving door of sex and disappointment. She’s running from one relationship to the next relationship trying to find her identity and her self worth in the arms of a man instead of the arms of God. She’s looking for completion without being completed in Christ. She’s looking for validation without being validated in Christ. She’s trapped in a cycle of sexual activity, looking for the love, and the acceptance, and the approval, and the protection, and the intimacy, and the covering that can only come from God.


Maybe you she never knew the love of a father and someway somehow she’s looking for daddy in a never ending cycle of dead end relationships. Maybe she thinks that having a man is the answer to her problems. Maybe she’s so hurt and angry and lonely in life that giving herself sexually to a man (any man) outside of the will and plan of God is worth that one moment of validation. Some of you know all too well what I’m talking about. You give it up looking for love and hoping that this time it will lead to marriage. But in the end you wind up loosing your self-respect, that man’s respect, and your salvation.


Missionary dating is a trap of the enemy. You can’t win someone to Christ by sleeping with them. How are you going to win someone to Christ and blow your witness at the same time? You think that you have to sleep with a man so you don’t lose him. No. You lose your man, because you sleep with him before marriage. Until you are married to Christ, you are not in a place to be married to a man. And until Christ is the head of your man, he ain’t fit to be your man.


This woman had been with six other men. Six is the number of man. It is the number of the flesh. She was use to taking matters into her own hands and hiding behind sex. But Jesus was the seventh man in her life. Seven is the number of completion and fulfillment. Jesus is the only one who can fulfill you and complete you and satisfy you. Jesus will fill you, but you’ve got to give up your water. You’ve got to give up your fleshy needs and carnal desires. Give up your water and He will give you living water. You will never be able to satisfy the thirst of your soul through the lust of your flesh.


This woman was use to looking for love in the wrong place that she didn’t know that the manifestation of the unconditional agape love of God was sitting before her. She had been defiled by and tied to so many men that her emotional baggage and spiritual bondage obscured her ability to see true love. She was near the truth, but she did not perceive the truth. Some of you are so use to the wrong kind of men (or women for men reading this) that when the right man (or woman) comes your way you’re too blind to see it.


Water is symbolic of the Word of God. We wash ourselves with the Word of God. This concept gives us the word picture of walking through the world and accumulating dust and dirt. We use water to wash it off. And so as we live our lives, we accumulate thoughts, and ideas and pressures, and sins, but when we hear the Word of God and receive the Word of God it washes those things from us.


Jesus wants to wash away all of your dirt and defilement. Without holiness no man shall see God. Any man that is in Christ is a new creation. If you want to follow Christ, you must first deny yourself. The Apostle Paul said, “I die daily.” He said, “I’m crucified with Christ.” You must crucify your flesh. No temptation has overtaken you. The will of God is your sanctification. You’ve got to exchange your natural water, become a living sacrifice, and you will receive His living water. You’ve got to crucify your flesh to receive His Spirit. You can’t be saved, single and having sex. You’ve got to give up sex, if you want to live single, saved, and be a living sacrifice.

Yours for Sexual and Marital Integrity,
Apostle Brian S. Lewis

phone: (310) 348-8180




Edited by Moderator on 11/04/2006 at 7:08am
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Posted: 11/06/2006 at 5:36pm | IP Logged Quote Pamela Helmick

What should a parent do if they find out that their adult child, who lives with them, is having sex outside of marraige?

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Posted: 01/01/2007 at 6:21pm | IP Logged Quote Moderator

A Gift Basket From Heaven


by Os Hillman,

I will betroth you to Me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord. - Hosea 2:19-20

My wife came to know Jesus in the workplace when her boss led her to pray to receive Christ. She was 29 and had no idea who God was. She was a professional single woman who had always had a boyfriend. When Christ came into her life, He gradually began to change her life in very significant ways-especially in the area of relationships. As she began her first Bible study, she read in Matthew 7 that if she asked, she would receive (see Mt. 7:7). She prayed for a husband and the Lord spoke to her through His Word. The next verse in her study was "Be still, and know that I am God" (Ps. 46:10a).

Over time, the Lord began to show her that He wanted to become her Husband. After two and one-half years without a boyfriend, she asked the Lord to show her how to fall in love with Him. Days later, she received a phone call from someone asking her if she could go on a three-day retreat. She instantly knew God was answering her prayer. He showed her that she could have the same kind of intimacy with Him that she could have with a human husband. She thought this to be strange for the obvious reasons most would think it strange. However, God began to demonstrate to her a level of intimacy that she never thought possible.

It was Valentine's Day, and she would normally leave such occasions to the married couples to celebrate. However, on this occasion, her church was having a Valentine's Day dinner. She felt impressed to go as a single. Actually, she knew the Lord was her escort. Because she had made a decision not to date in order to develop her intimacy with the Lord, she no longer received perfume as gifts. Lord, I know You would not take me to a Valentine's Day banquet without giving me a gift, she thought to herself. That evening, there was a drawing, and Angie won a beautiful gift basket full of fragrances.

On another occasion, she went to a company banquet alone. She was considered by this time rather weird for her commitment not to date. She often joked, "If it weren't for back rubs, I would never have need of a man." (You have to know Angie to appreciate that statement.) That evening, she won a gift certificate for a massage. Her friends looked at her and said, "How do you do that?"

Intimacy with God is not a fairy tale God teases us with in the Bible. He really desires to have intimacy with you and me. Ask God to reveal Himself to you in personal and intimate ways. He desires to do this.

Life's Issues prayer counselors  or available send an email to: Larry Silverman nhministry@yahoo.com  

Or if you like you can contact us by email here: http://www.openheaven.com/contact/



Edited by Moderator on 01/01/2007 at 6:22pm
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Posted: 01/06/2007 at 4:45pm | IP Logged Quote Pamela Helmick

wow that is neat.  Pray for me that God will be this intimate with me.

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Posted: 05/14/2007 at 3:55pm | IP Logged Quote Christine Gould

Scott Miller wrote:

     I know that you have probably received other testimonies from people on the topicof premarital sex and its dangerous emotional consequences, but I thought I might want to share my story and hopefully encourage other Christian singles around the world not to make the same painful mistake that I have made.

     First of all, I am a thirty year old male teacher in TX and accepted Christ as my personal Lord and Savior at age six.  At age twenty-one, I rededicated my life to Christ and was baptized.  Although life has certainly had its ups and downs, I have been actively involved with serving God through attending church, being involved in Bible studies, mission trips, and Christian fellowship for nine years. 

      I have always longed for a Christian woman from God and always been faitfully waiting for the right one to come along.  Yes, I have dated and the longest relationship I have ever had is four months.  I have moved around quite a bit throughout my life and establishing a long lasting intimate Christian relationship with a woman has always been a challenge.  I have three or four girlfriends throughout the years, but nothing would compare to my experience that occurred about five months ago.  Needless to say, my last dating experience has been a leraning experience that has taught me perhaps one of the most emotionally painful lesson in life.  I would like to share this story to help Christian singles of all ages avoid the mistake I have made.

     I am a thirty year old high school teacher in TX who met a new first year teacher in the hall in October 2005.  I was immediately attracted to "Jane" and other than her physical appearance, I was immediately attracted to the fact that she wore a cross around her neck.  The cross had sparked conversation and from there I began to talk to Jane more and more before actually e-mailing her at work.  Before I knew, I actually asked "Jane" out to "meet some friends" on a Saturday night.  We immediately began seeing each other as friends going to dinner together and going out to the movies.  After seeing each other as "friends" for about a month, I shared with "Jane" a few days after Christmas that I had feelings for her and that I wished her to be my girlfriend.  She immediatlely responded of course thinking that I would never ask her. 

     Initially, things in the relationship went very well.  Our conversations were always full of life and despite the fact that our histories as believers were quite different, our relationship remained very strong.  In fact, about a month into the relationship, "Jane" admitted that she could see herself as my wife and we even began to talk what life could be like as a married couple. 

     I must admit that the problems of our relationship began when our relationship moved into a physical direction.  Kisses turned to make out sessions,      Our relationship began to take other turns as "Jane" became controlling getting mad at me for not "spending enough time with her."  I can still vividly remember one Friday night after work, going to the gym to work out and receiving a call that I had ignored her and failed to spend Friday night with her.  I raced home out of fear to find an angry girlfriend.  This incident was but one of many to follow where I began to feel that everything I did just wasn't good enough anymore.  Eating out every night became expensive and the time I spend with her claimed to be out of necessity rather than love.  I was flabbergasted and didn't know what to do at this point. 

     One Sunday afternoon after church, I received a call from "Jane."  She called me over to her apartment where she explained that she could no longer deal with me as I had "fallen out of love" with her.  I was shocked that she had broken up with me, but really wasn't heart broken as I felt relieved that I might get to spend some actual time by myself for a change.  A week later, I received a text message from her claiming she had "missed her best friend." I immediately called her and she came over.  Looking back now, I realize she probably did just want to be "friends" at that point, but I mistook the incident as wanting to get back with me again.  Our relationship back together again was very different now, as she claimed she no longer felt the desire to be married.  She began to say that marriage may not even before he.  I didn't know what to say, but I patiently listened to her as the physical part of the relationship resumed where it had left off.

           During the month of May, our problems in the relationship began to escalate.  It seemed as if "Jane" didn't feel as attracted to me anymore, and furthermore she even told me rudely at one point that the relationship just seeemed "stagnant."  I didn't know what to do but simply keep on dating and praying that God would heal the relationship.  My own convictions about the first experience and the fear of her getting pregnant convinced me to stop before having sex become commonplace in the relationship. 

     One night "Jane" had told me to go out with some friends on a Saturday night as she said that I needed some time with friends.  She said her church was having a party and I probably would not want to go there.  I tried to convince I would gladly take her to which she responded negatively that I should do what I want to do.  I finally agreed and went out with a few guy friends to Starbuck's for a drink of coffee.  Later that night I called her to check up on her and she mentioned that she had indeed attended her church party with a guy named "Bob." "Bob" had taken her to the party and now they were both at her apartment as "friends" watching a movie.  I was shocked and told her I couldn't believe she could do that without having previously notified me.  She claimed that it was not big deal and that it was just a night as "friends."

     OK, reader here is  the moral of the story as I have probably written too much the way it is.  I foolishly rushed over to "Jane's" apartment that night and broke up with her out of anger.  A week later she started "Bob," a guy that I had met on one occasion before as a family friend.  "Jane" had told that "Bob" was not a Christian and that she would never date him.  Well, needless to say, "Jane" and "Bob" are now an item now and my own jealously has certainly not helped the situation.  Despite me begging and praying with "Jane" to come back with me, she has refused and had admitted that "Bob" and her are sleeping together.  My own warnings against fornication have made me a hypocrite and put me through a deep depression and spiritual guilt that I would not wish on my own worst enemy.  "Jane" has claimed that "Bob" may come to Christ some day, and my own refusal to love her as he has love her has hurt me more deeply than I could ever have imagined.  The credit bill of sexual sin has certainly arrived in my mailbox and the worst depression and spiritual guilt of my life has now come upon me.  I feel as I have not only let God down but I have been no different that any other non Christian boyfriend "Jane" has ever dated.  Furthermore, since I have seen her since "Bob" and her are an item, her personality has completely changed.  She already has a promise (engagement?) ring on her wedding finger and completely shut me down each time I have brought up the subject of prayer. 

     Reader, I know this story may sound cliché, but let me warn you. The fact that I had saved myself so long (thirty years) for the "one" and now lost it all to someone who shamelessly gives it away to another guy now has left me as empty as can be.  Satan has put ideas lies into my mind wounding me beyond repair, "If you would have slept in the same bed as her, she would not have had to look else where for emotional/sexual intimacy."  "If you would have continued to meet her sexual needs, you might still be with her today."  These and other lies have been dealt with by repentance and a new fellowship with the Lord, but my own self esteem and spiritual witness have been cut down to a thread.  Reader, be aware!  There are spiritual consequences of fornication and the emotional pain although getting better still goes through my head constantly on a daily basis.  I know that God has forgiven me of my sin, but it hurts me so much that I know that "Jane" is in spiritual rebellion at the moment and that my words will just drive her further away from me.  She's right when she stated in anger, "Who are you to judge?"  Prayer is powerful in this situation, but the constant thought of my own shortcomings have left me feeling like a man watching someone drowning with no life preserver to throw out. 

     Feel free to share this story with anyone who may be interested.  Would someone please respond to me to let me know this went through?  More imporantly, please pray for me as I struggle to get past this deep, dark chapter of my life.  I know that God is there for me and I continually pray that I let go of my own guilt and sorrow and believe in my heart that Christ's blood paid for it all.  Yes, I realize this intellectually, but I just wish my heart would accept this reality as well.  

  God bless!  Scott  

    



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Posted: 05/14/2007 at 3:56pm | IP Logged Quote Christine Gould

Moderator wrote:

For more information about sex: Click Here

Do you have questions or needs or would you like to share what God is doing in your life?

Life's Issues prayer counselors  or available send an email to: Larry Silverman nhministry@yahoo.com  or post a reply to this message.

Or if you like you can contact us by email here: http://www.openheaven.com/contact/



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Posted: 05/30/2007 at 6:04am | IP Logged Quote Niomi Stewart

I am a Christian who has sinned by having sex outside of marriage which I am now regretting. I have been doing some research on the internet and have found nothing which has provided me with support. All websites have basically condemned me and shows no way out or no way of rectifying my wrong.

I have no idea what to do and no one to talk to as I am only a teenager and am not part of a Christian family and have no Christian influences except the Church I attend. I am too embaressed to talk to a Church leader about it, and have no one else to help me. I don't know what to do, or what I should do.

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Posted: 05/30/2007 at 7:22am | IP Logged Quote Larry Silverman

Hi Niomi,

Thanks for being open and willing to share your heart.  I felt that I had to write to you just as soon as possible, as I want you to know Jesus and His love for you.  I know that you said that you were involved in a church, but hopefully you have a personal relationship with Jesus, and are not just a "church attender." 

The Bible says that if you confess your sins God is fatihful to forgive your sins and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness. 

I really want you to know that God the Father loves you greatly, so greatly that He sent His Son, Jesus to die just for you!  You know, from the tone of your post, you do sound like you are already sorry for what you've been doing.  If this is indeed the case, God has forgiven you!  It's just like you have never sinned.  Of course the key is to not go on sinning anymore.  In case you need something more firm to hold onto, just pray a simple prayer right now asking God to forgive you.  To repent of our sins means to run from the evil that we do, but at the same time to run fervently towards God.  His arms are open to you today Niomi!

I hope this helps some.

Kingdom blessings,

Larry



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Posted: 05/30/2007 at 7:30am | IP Logged Quote Niomi Stewart

Thank you for your words. It has done me good to know that God has forgiven me as I have done nothing but regret and apologise. I really have realised that what I did was not worth sacrificing my place in Heaven for, and I will hold on to the fact that God will always forgive as long as your deeply sorry. You can be certain that it wont happen again.

Thank you again.

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Posted: 05/30/2007 at 7:39am | IP Logged Quote Larry Silverman

Niomi,

COOL!!!  Good job, just soak in Father God's love today!  Enjoy!

One other thing... if you need some more help there are some real neat Sisters on these forums that can help you.  My co-moderator, Kathy is a gem and there are others as well.  As you surf some of these topics on Openheaven.com you will meet some of them.  I suggest that you form a relationship with a few of them, and begin an off-forum, private dialog with them.  They are here to help you!

Blessings again!

Larry



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Posted: 06/08/2007 at 8:48am | IP Logged Quote Guests

Hi Niomi,

I havent been on much here lately but just wanted to drop in and say.....hang in there. God hasnt left ya nor has He forsakin ya. How do I know this, one His word says so and two, Ive been there and done that and God forgave me.

I am not a teenager anymore, Im actually 30 years old, but as a teenager there is not much I hadnt done, sleeping around was one. Like you I didnt have anyone to talk to and none to help me.But God has been faithful and very good to me. I can look back and see He was there and that Hid grace was always with me. Even though I felt alone I really never was.....

I have been married for 11 years and still have had my shares of mistakes even had an affair, but unlike when I was a teenager, He has surrounded me with many wonderful people and relationships, even here on OH. Larry is right, their are several very neat people on these forums. And yea, Kathy is a gem. She was their when I was going through some stuff several months ago. Their are several very strong womon in the Lord here on OH(and yea, some men too) which have been a great deal of help and support even towards myself.

Im not one to give advice cause Im going through some stuff even now. But know that their are people who care and people who will help. You are not alone and never will be. God is for you and not against you, no matter what youve done, who you are or where youve been.

In Him...Tess.

 

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Niomi Stewart
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Posted: 06/10/2007 at 6:21am | IP Logged Quote Niomi Stewart

Thank You so much. It really helps knowing there are people supporting me and people to talk to. I appretiate everything you've said.
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Posted: 10/05/2007 at 7:03pm | IP Logged Quote Moderator

PRESCRIPTION: Pray it until the devil sees that

you're serious about maintaining your freedom.
 
WARNING: You WILL be tested! You MUST be.
 
Lord Jesus, I thank You for revealing
to me any times when my body has
been used, with or without my
permission, as an instrument of
unrighteousness. (Make a list of any
that come to your mind).

 

I confess that my body was used as an
instrument of unrighteousness and
I recognize such uses as sin. (Ritual

abuse, sex slave, video taped sex acts,

a victim of rape, sexually abused as a

child, prostitution, premarital sex)

 

I renounce these acts (adultery,

sexual fantasies, lust, pornography,

coveting the spouses and daughters of

others, sex with prostitutes, premarital sex,

extramarital sex, etc) and thank You, Lord

Jesus for breaking all soul ties created

through them, and all other bondages satan

has brought into my life BY them.

 

I renounce all pre-marital sexual experiences

and break all ungodly soul-ties with others.

I forgive any others with whom I have been

engaged in ANY sexual experiences

for they knew not the impact of what they

were doing by succumbing to their carnal

desires.

 

I DECLARE those bondages

BROKEN, in Jesus’ Name!

 

I now present my body to You, Jesus,

as a living sacrifice, holy and blameless,

and I thank You for cleansing
and forgiving me at the cross. I receive

your goodness, your grace, your forgiveness

and your mercy that’s new EVERY

morning.

I reject and disown all the sins of
my ancestors. As one who has been
delivered from the power of darkness
and translated into the
Kingdom of
Christ Jesus
,
I cancel all demonic
assignments that have been passed on to
me from my ancestors.

 

I DECLARE all those curses are now

BROKEN because of the Blood of Jesus

shed at the cross.

 

I renounce all satanic assignments

directed towards me and I cancel

every curse that satan and his angels

have put on me.

 

I reject any and every way in which
satan or his demons may claim
ownership of me.

 

I DECLARE  that I belong to the

Lord Jesus Christ who purchased me

with His own blood.

 

I reject all other blood sacrifices
and I announce that I am eternally
and completely signed over to the
Lord Jesus Christ and committed to
do His will from this day forward.

In the Name of Jesus Christ,
I
renounce
every one of the above sins
and any sins like them.

 

I turn away from them all and will

do them no more and I DECLARE

that they will in no way impact my

family and my descendants.

 

I renounce any past or
present association with satan, his
angels or his works.

 

I renounce all sexual immorality, all
demonic assignments, all occult
practices, satanism, and any master
other than the Lord Jesus Christ.

 

I renounce any unforgiveness or bitterness

I may hold against anyone, including myself

and against You, my Lord.

 

I renounce every sin that is against my

Holy God and against His beloved Son,
Jesus Christ.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for
completely forgiving me.

 

I acknowledge that the Lord Jesus took
all my guilt and punishment for me
on the Cross and there is therefore
no condemnation for me. I have been

bought with the blood of Christ.


I thank You Jesus for filling me with

Your Holy Spirit today, for leading me

into all truth and empowering me to live

above sin.

 

I commit myself to the renewing of my
mind in order to prove that Your
will is good, perfect and acceptable
for me.

 

I pledge to see myself as a wounded

healer and will share with others that there

is deliverance and healing ONLY through

Jesus Christ.

 

Thank you for the wonderful gift of sex. I

thank you that my sexual drive will never

again have mastery over me. I serve no

Master but King Jesus!

 

I will FORWARD this prayer of

Renunciation to others so that they, too,

may find deliverance AND come to know

Jesus as their Deliverer.

 

All this I do in the Name and Authority of

the Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.

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Posted: 04/16/2008 at 5:56am | IP Logged Quote Moderator

The Devastating Cost of Family Fragmentation
—Michael Medved

An important new study of divorce and out-of-wedlock birth shows that taxpayers lose more than a hundred billion each year to cover the costs of family break-up.

The Institute for American Values and allied organizations analyzed the additional costs to the legal system, welfare programs, and anti-poverty efforts as bureaucrats, cops and social workers try to cope with the tens of millions of kids and adults in fatherless households.

The report proves that even a minor improvement in family stability would save the taxpayer billions. A mere 1 percent decline in family fragmentation would, for instance, save the taxpayer at least $1.1 billion every year. Defending and repairing the institution of marriage is therefore not just a moral issue: it's a major factor in healing a wide range of social problems, rejuvenating our troubled economy, and avoiding governmental bankruptcy.

Those who can't depend on strong families far too often become the dependents of government.



Michael Medved is the host of The Michael Medved Show.

Michael Medved is the author of Right Turns: Unconventional Lessons from a Controversial Life.
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steveboggan
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Posted: 06/30/2008 at 10:34am | IP Logged Quote steveboggan

Wow - maybe we should ask the Presbyterians. They just voted that
"anything goes!"

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The kingdoms of this world have become the Kingdom of our Lord and of His Christ, and He shall reign forever and ever!
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Carol Marler
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Posted: 07/01/2008 at 8:21pm | IP Logged Quote Carol Marler

Niomi,  As born-again christians, our sins are forgiven ouce we confess them to Christ.  He went to the Cross for that.  Clearly you are born-again otherwise you would not have these feelings of failure.  BUT,  put this event/sin at the feet of Jesus...repent, don't go back...and receive the forgiveness that is only available through the shed blood of Jesus.  The question of sin...sin is sin....sin against you own body is very damaging, but forgiveness is the key.  You cannot change the past...your actions were purely "natural" feelings.  The KEY, The KEY, The KEY, is to shun, avoid getting yourself into an intimacy with a person that would "set on fire" those feelings.  I am speaking from experience....I was single for 10 years before I married my husband.  I did not DATE!....I was praying that if I were to be married, then I was going to just wait until Mr. Right came along....of course sent by GOD.   Anyone that thinks they can just date around and get kissy, kissy, and intimate without commiting a sin is kidding  themselves.  You have actually learned a very valuable lesson here....just let AGod's love replace that guilt...and keep yourself clear of those vulnurable situations.  It;s just that simple.  God has forgiven you....so, forgive yourselt.  When Mr. Right comes along...you will be White As Snow to him.

Blessings,   Carol

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